The Perfection of Coincidence

I recently finished re-reading On the Other Side of Shame by Joanne Jowell. I hardly ever return to a book once I have read it, but something pulled me back to this one. And I read it even more vociferously- inspired by the work, captured by the narrative, drawn into that past, and astounded by the beautiful, perfect coincidences that surround this story.

Says author Joanne Jowell in a BOOK SA interview: “Synchronicity landed this one, fair and square, in my lap. My hairdresser put me together with his client with the amazing story. She turned out to be my cousin – and the bearer of a long kept family secret that I had never heard of.”

The review continues: 'In Cape Town in the 1960s, 17-year-old Lynette Zinn hid her pregnancy for seven months before her conservative Jewish parents discovered it. It’s a ‘shunda’ [Yiddish term for a scandal]. They refused to hear her protests about loving Max- her boyfriend- and wanting to marry him, and forced her to give up the baby for adoption. Some 18 months after the baby was given up for adoption, Lynette and Max married and went on to have three other children. The matter of their first child was never discussed, and was kept a secret.

Forty years later, Anthony Egnal, living in Seattle and working as a family physician, tried to adopt a child of his own. He had never felt compelled to find his birth parents until he came to adopt a child, which brought him face to face with the raw shame that people experience when they give up a child for adoption. That led him to discover how much he wanted to find his birth parents, to tell them that he was happy and grateful for the gift of life.'

Egnal managed to easily find the details of Lynnette and Max Langman, his biological parents. On a quiet Sunday evening in Cape Town, the phone call they had arranged rang out in the Langman's Bantry Bay apartment. 'That's your son', said Max. 'You better go answer it.'

That phone call began a conversation that would blossom into a reunion in many layers and many forms. As Lynette, her husband and her children reconnected with this lost son and brother, they completed a circle of life and living.

This book inspired me in that it was written using Oral History methods. In my studies I learnt about this historical approach and was able to apply it in my own work. Jowell's text is an example of oral history methodology in its element, where what people say and how they say it can shed light on the complexities of the past. Jowell conducts extensive interviews not only with Lynette, but everyone involved in the story, even those on the periphery (such as the adoption social worker and Antony's sister, Mandy.) The result is a multifaceted, nuanced, rich and complex narrative that makes the story all the more intense. It is like looking at a cut diamond in your palm, as its various faces glimmer in the light.

“Lynette Langman wanted me to tell the story to tell the story of adoption because it affects so many people. It had to be a good story, a good read and it had to tell the true story. I used a method of research and writing pioneered by Stubbs Turfell, which involves using the verbatim accounts of the interviews conducted with a range of people.
“The aim is to listen, engage and record without influence and then to sift through the material as a prospector through silt trying to find the diamonds in the rough.” The process involved conducting interviews across the oceans, and distinguishing the gloss of memory from the grime of real life", says Joanne in the BOOK SA piece.

This story also grabbed me because it is embedded in the South African Jewish community- my own community. The narrative is my grandparents' experience- the Muizenberg holidays, the dates and dances, the immigrant atmosphere, the conservative Jewish attitudes, the singular experience of Jewish homes and upbringings across the country. This story is a therefore a glimpse into a past that I relate to in my present and my identity. Further, the story swirls around my contemporary surroundings- Camps Bay, Bantry Bay, Hatfield Street, Charley's Bakery, Jammie Steps. It is enjoyable for a Capetonian to read the book from this angle.

What drew me in the most is the perfection of coincidence that pervades the narrative, as well as the people involved in the book. It begins with the birth of the book, where Joanne hears of the story and discovers that the narrator is her cousin- and it continues with the birth of the baby in the story, and his life. I will not tell you all the startling moments in this silver thread of synchronicity, so read it yourself to discover them. Reading the book reminded me of our place in the grand scheme of the universe- its playful yet perfect patterns that suddenly come together. The universe is conspiring to shower us with blessings, even if this is not clear to us at first.

The book flows and is well-written, and you will not put down until you've finished it! Taking a real-life story and shaping it into a gripping page-turner shows that the author is extremely talented- and that truth really is stranger than fiction.

The cover artwork of the book captures its essence. It is designed by Kim Lieberman, an established South African and international artist. She 'explores the invisible energies that travel between people and the impacts these currents have on our world. Investigating concepts like The Butterfly Effect and 6 Degrees of Separation, she has created artworks exploring the interconnectedness of human experience.'